Growing with A Glow


As time flies, you'll notice that the people that are truly here for you will stay. I can't stress that enough. Only the ones that have outgrown you will find some excuse to leave. It can be heartbreaking at the time, especially if you're a person like me who values friendships. Losing a friend, a best friend at that can sting like a mutha' fucka. I thought I could never get over it. But you know what happened, I did. I thought it was going to be dreadful, like not being able to eat or sleep, but, it wasn't. I cried for about three days after finally realizing that hey! They are the ones that chose to leave me! Why should I get hung up on them making a poor ass decision like letting me go?! Talking to my family also helped a bit. My older brother can be a bit harsh and blunt, which is good. Sometimes, tough love is the best route to go. As usual, my mother comforted me. This gave me the strength to move on. I swear, there's nothing like a mother's warm embrace. Like most family and close friends, they only want the best for you. On the other hand, like most family and friends, people have a habit of projecting their fears onto you. I already knew I had to be careful of who I told regarding my new endeavors.

The first person I told was my male best friend. I knew he was going to be happy for me. He is one the most optimistic persons' I know so it was a no-brainer to go to him first. Um, sike! He was happy for me sure (more like shocked that I was planning on doing something to better myself) but he had his concerns. Going into the conversation, I was expecting some doubt, of course. But, then it became too much for me to bare. He was completely scared of the fact that I may fail like everyone else who goes out there to follow their dreams. I for one am ready to fail. I didn't care what the consequences are. The best part of your failures is learning from them. Still, to this day, he doesn't get where I'm coming. I grasped that I can no longer talk to him about this subject. Sad enough, he isn't the only one that felt this way. My female best friend stopped talking to me altogether!! Which I think is fucking ridiculous! I wanted to entertain the matter so bad, but I had no strength to. I just told her "ok" and left it at that. Of course, she had to have the last word, so, she said the same thing back and then I left it at that. Women. I've made a decision and it's a big one. I have chosen to move out of state to follow a dream. It started as a seed planted in my head by my brother and it grew into something magical. There was no turning back from this thought. I absolutely could not stop thinking about it! I felt I HAD to do it! I must try. This spiraled into me making the decision in moving to California.

The writer of the hit show, Insecure, is starting a writer's boot camp for undiscovered talent. This boot camp is only held in Los Angeles. So...fucking... far…from Cleveland. Nevertheless, I feel that it could be worth it, even if I don't get the dream job in the end, at least I've had the experience. My point is this, you can have a dream in your head that you know deep down will make it. It is up to you to protect it. It is impossible for everyone to understand the vision in your head. It is not up to them to understand. God has placed this gift inside of you for YOU! If you fail, dust yourself off and try another route. Falling in love with the process will make matters a lot easier because you know where your mistakes were. It's all about maturing. I am twenty-four years old and I want to experience life. I cannot stand the mediocrity of the day to day life that I am living right now. I know that I am better than this. I feel that I can be better than this. This is the time in my life where I need to fight. I am finally taking a bigger chance at making my dreams a reality. I accomplished one of my goals by moving out on my own, no matter what anyone said. The next phase is to travel. California is only the beginning. I do not plan to stay there. Oh no. After Cali, the world!

What is life without taking risks? You think all the big names out there accomplished their dreams by being careful? And being nice for that matter?! No! Life is what you make it and I refuse for my life to be nothing less of the vision I had ever since I was a little girl. Believe me, I was extraordinary. I will BE EXTRAORDINARY!! LET THE GLOW UP BEGIN!!

#journey #writing #writers #life #selfawareness #selflove #writerslife

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