• MadeTooInspire

Days 2-4 in L.A.


A Trip to Venice Beach

In the last blog, I told you about my older male roommate who stares at me too much. I don’t know why I didn’t mention the other guys I was in the room with at the time but here they are: The second guy I met, named Charles, is from Australia and he is the coolest of them all. By that, I mean he is the only one that holds a conversation with me. He has an honest sense of humor and from the tales of it, people don’t relate to him much; Americans anyway. He has big, white teeth, blonde hair, tall and lanky. He also told me he likes to smoke Indica because it keeps him balanced. I analyzed him after he said that. I noticed that he is very jittery and talks really fast. I guess the gloominess of the Indica weed takes the edge off, but he said it helps with his anxiety. The perks of marijuana, eh. The third guy was from France but couldn’t speak very good English. He tried though. He was very nice, and I loved the way he dressed. You can tell he loved wearing high fashioned clothing because he stayed in Polo Ralph Lauren and Fila. This guy came back with two huge bags full of clothing along with a huge bag of shoes from Foot Locker. I said, “Shopping again!?” and he replied, “Yes! Shopping I love!” and I just nodded.

For the rest of the males in the room, I didn’t officially meet them. They kind of just came in and changed their clothes and left right back out. For the rest of my stay there, I had no complaints. I was a bit upset about leaving because I didn’t get to say goodbye to the Charles. But, the show must go on. That was day three when I left. All that day, I was running errands trying to find a place to stay as well as little side jobs where I can make extra money. No luck. Finding a roommate or a place to stay for that matter is harder than I thought. Only because I didn’t have enough money to work with. If anyone reading this plans on coming out to L.A., please save as much money as you can to at least have a deposit and firsts month rent for an apartment or roommate. When I tell I was struggling!! MAN!! All while trying to keep food in my stomach.

By the grace of GOD, I managed to take the place of a girl that was moving out. She was a nice Asian girl that occupied a moderately large apartment with six other roommates. The complex is beautiful and so is the area. It is smack dab in the middle of Koreatown, the nicer part. I was so glad I found her on Facebook. I put what I had down for the deposit right there. At first, her landlord wasn’t going for it. She needed the deposit and first month’s rent. When she said that, I felt so defeated in every fiber of my being. I started thinking negatively but I had to check myself. I am trying to change my mentality. Suddenly, she told me, “Let me ask my landlord again, okay?” I nodded. Next thing I knew, I was on the verge of shedding tears because her landlord gave me a chance. She showed me around the apartment and I loved everything about it, especially the free pool and the workout room. Once the tour was done, she hit me with, “I move out on the first of September so you can move in then!” In my head, I’m thinking oh shit! I need a place to lay my head as soon as possible. I did not want to let this gorgeous apartment go, so I agreed. What I was going to do next was up in the air.

My money was dwindling down and I was running out of options on where to sleep. I couldn’t go to another hostel because I am not an international traveler and did not have a ticket for when I was leaving. So, to put things into simpler terms, at the end of day three, I was homeless. I know this sounds scary and all, but I am blessed enough to have a car. Not many people can say that. That’s how I wanted it. If push came to shove, I could live in my car.

I thought I prepared myself for this mentality but once it hit me, I wasn’t ready. I don’t think anyone can mentally prepare themselves for homelessness. It just happens, and you must be strong enough to pull yourself together and go with the flow. You don’t have a choice. However, if it can be prevented, don’t do it. This shit is not fun. I was safe though. There’s nowhere safer to sleep in your car than a children’s hospital parking garage. I am very thankful that I got to sleep soundlessly.

The rough sound of a car’s engine starting woke me up out of my sleep. I made it out of day three! I made the plans in my head to grab some gas to put in my little putt-putt and head to Venice Beach since I had nothing to do. I almost forgot where I was for a moment. I had to pee so fucking bad and there were no bathrooms in sight. Being dumb, I waited for so long to the point where I couldn’t take it any longer. I started my car, paid the machine for my night spent in the garage and made my way to find a gas station. I stopped at the first one I seen and pulled up to a pump. My bladder was on some other shit. I needed to go! I tightened my thighs together as hard as I could to keep the pee up in me. I managed to make my way into the food mart/gas station and asked to use the bathroom; and what do you know, it was out of order! I was so pissed off. I turned around slowly because I felt some pee coming out. I pulled myself together and quickly made it to my car. I didn’t get gas either. Oh, your bathroom was out of order? You’re not getting any of my services then! Like he cared.

Mind you, it’s like 5 a.m. and places were barely open. If they were, then they weren’t letting people into the establishment at the time. The entrances were literally gated up. You can imagine my poor little bladder at this point. It was in so much pain. No matter how hard I held it in, little droplets of pee would seep through (sorry for the visual). I made it to a Seven-Eleven a few miles down the street. I could barely get out the car at this point. When I made it in, I was doing the pee-pee dance in front of the store; buckling my knees like a duck and squeezing my thighs together even harder so I wouldn’t piss myself. I asked the clerk if I could use the bathroom and without looking at me he said the bathrooms weren’t public and went right back to what he was doing. I wanted to cuss this fucker out so bad like you see I’m about to piss my pants!

Made it back to my car and I couldn’t think straight! I had to find the next gas station and fast. I rolled up on Shell’s gas station. I had to sit in my car for a moment. The urge to use the bathroom became uncontrollable at this time. I slithered out the driver’s seat with little to no control of my bladder. More pee was coming out and I began wetting my pants. People were coming up pumping gas, staring at me. I felt that if I moved one inch toward the door, I would just lose it. I held it for as long as I could. I pumped my gas…held it…held it…pee coming down my leg onto my sandal…held it… fuck it! It was already going down my leg so I thought why. I had other clothes in the car.

It was disgusting alright! My black jeans were wet, smelly and they started sticking to me. I grabbed some more underwear from my backseat as well as some other pants from my suitcase. Walking toward the minimart, I held my head up high with no shame. I mean, shit. I had to fucking pee. I asked the store clerk was there a public restroom and he assured me there was. He gave me the key and I thanked him. I couldn’t walk my ass to the back of the store fast enough. Strangely, I thought I was finished using the restroom, but my bladder was still full. I made it this time. I undressed, washed out my underwear in the sink and proceeded to clean myself. I put on my fresh drawers and pants and threw the soiled ones in the trash. I didn’t want that shit my car, it smelled; which could have been my period that decided to come the day before. Hey, what are you gonna do?

Despite what had just happened, I made my way to Venice Beach. It is everything the game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas made it out to be and more. I knew I wanted to spend most of my day here, so I didn’t care to pay for an all-day pass to go in and out of the parking lots. I swear, everywhere in L.A. is a price. Anyway, it was about 7 a.m. by the time I got there and people were already pulling up. There were surfers brushing up on their boards, runners, bikers and of course dog walkers (I want a dog *cries on the inside*). I’m sitting there taking in all the sights. The cool breeze was giving me so much life; like the homeless people that also occupied the area. There were so many set up shop with their tents to sell whatever they had. Many of them were an artist and their artwork was very beautiful. So much talent, not enough resources.

Now, I find myself sitting at a cute, little, expensive café writing about my struggles. Life is returning to the boardwalk as the sun is lifting higher into the sky. The more I sit here, the more I want to get up and leave because too many people make me uncomfortable, no lie. I can be a social butterfly, but I’d rather not. So, I’ll be heading back to my car in a little bit. Can’t wait to see what else this day has to bring. Until next time…

Stay Focused. Stay Positive. Vibrate Higher


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Lost Angeles, CA, USA

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