The Holiday Blues...
I am not in the holiday spirit this year. Pitiful, I know, but I find it kind of hard to find to feel a sense of joy while I am going through a transition; spiritual and financial. Negativity seems to always find me when I do not need it the most and finding positive energy seems incredibly distant. Life... I tell you. It can challenge you sometimes. Nevertheless, I am learning; pressure makes diamonds, and diamonds are hard to come by. There is beauty in the struggle and there is lessons to learn from the pain I have endured. I question myself countlessly for the past two years and dug myself deeper into the depths of a confusing, dark, bottomless tundra. Even though I find myself occasionally breathless, I try to tell myself that this is all a process. The Great Gary V always says, “Learn to love the process!” and you will win. Throughout the day, I like to fantasize where I would be if I worked even HARDER. A big, beautiful house always runs across my mind, along with an office that I do not share overlooking a view of a busy city (notice I said “a” busy city; not sure where I want to reside just yet). That is a vision of mine that I have had for a very long time. So, I keep it close to refer back and forth to my dreams to keep myself on track. Harder said than done, as usual, but when I am steering off course, I push myself back on the line.
I am looking for to the new year. I am leaving 2017 with a lot of baggage and bullshit. People that I thought were my friends and didn’t show any kind of support, cut off! Those who doubted me and made fun of me for trying, cut off! The things that hurt me to my core that I could not change, cut off! This had to be one of the most courageous things I had to do in my life in order to grow. Becoming a better version of myself is my main priority now and I no longer can delay. I can’t tell you how exhausted I am of complaining about the same old songs. I am taking what I have learned this past year and I am applying it to my new life in 2018. Cliché, I know, but who cares because shit is real; growth as a human being is REAL. I feel sorry for those that stay the same. Who told you to do that?
Anyway, it’s almost bed time and I MUST get some rest. I have an early start and I hate being sleepy when I am trying to work. It’s the worst shit ever…. Anywho!
Stay Positive. Stay Focused. Vibrate Higher.