What day is it?

I'm still here!


I’m still pushing ya’ll! It’s been rough, but I’m still here. At this point, it is what it is and complaining about it has become extinct. I can’t stress over things that I can not change; like finding a place to live for instance. I know I’ll find a new spot eventually it’s going to take a little more time. I have had a few people give me the advice to return home already, but I refuse. I came to far to turn back now. Although, it sounds nice to return to my safety net back in Cleveland, I know for a fact that I would hate myself for not giving it ALL I got. So, here I am. Nevertheless, me and Sasha are still kicking it on the road and sleeping in safe parking lots. We have been just about everywhere in the southern hemisphere of Los Angeles. I swear to GOD, the further down I go, the breeze gets stiffer and the air gets hotter. I don’t see how people do it. But, at least it’s not Arizona! That’s just fucking crazy right there.

I have been very mentally and physically tired lately. I am not quite stressed out, because I KNOW that there is light at the end of the tunnel, however, this job as a barista has got my back, legs and energy on lock. I am not complaining about the job itself, it’s easy! It’s the constant standing on concrete floors and not enough down time. As some people may know, coffee is like crack, so, the coffee shop is always running like a choo-choo train. I have gotten the hang of everything, but I am not as fast as I need to be yet. I know this because my co-workers always put me on register when we have one of our rushes. Whatever!

Like West Hollywood, I have gotten to know more about Inglewood. It’s the inner city, obviously, and is very mixed with lots of different people. It’s the hood, but it’s blended with upkeep housing and run-down buildings and businesses. It can get a little confusing to me sometimes. It looks the same everywhere until you get to upper La Brea or north Hollywood for that matter; no trash or beat down vehicles in site. Anywho, I like it. Neighborhoods doesn’t really bother me because I have experienced both worlds; being in rough and decent areas. Of course, I prefer living in a more upscale neighborhood versus the inner city. I grew up in that setting half my life and part of my adult life. I’m ready for something different and…nicer. I mean c’mon, who wants to stay in the hood forever? You got to elevate your environment sometimes in order to expand or elevate your consciousness. That’s how I feel.

Speaking of which, trying new things can absolutely expand your mind. I plan on going to a poetry/soul show on the 20th of this month. I’ve always wanted to go to one, but never looked for a night club in Cleveland. I got the bug in my ear about the event from my cousin in Arizona. So now, I will be going to poetry/soul events here in L.A. I can’t wait. Since I was a little girl, I imagined myself being this jazzy, soulful, spiritual, care-free being who participated in poetry nights. I would picture a dark room filled with cigarette smoke and artistic people like myself, sitting around listening to the undiscovered talent on stage; nodding, snapping our fingers, and if the occasion caused for it, laughing a bit. People from all walks of life coming to just have a stiff drink and escape their day lives. I imagined my outer being much different than how I am now: hair curly and fluffed out, waist and hips curvy than Hollywood hills, confidence brighter than the gates of heaven and my purpose, so distant yet so close with every step I took. My experiences in life has led me there and everyone knew my name. I can see myself being a regular as one of the top respected people in the joint. As you can see, I put some thought into this fantasy. I still have time to make this come true. I want to find other outlets for my writing because the workshop I came to Los Angeles for, has been pushed back to god knows when. But, I’m not trippin’. It will start when Issa Rae is ready and when Penny has time. Until then, I have to search for more ways for the writing world to know my name. That’s the gold right there.

Other than that, I am doing okay. I am eating and maintaining every day. It is now the weekend, the time to wind down and relax my body. I plan on treating myself today, not spending too many funds of course. But I feel it’s necessary to treat myself to keep my spirits up. So, later I plan on seeing a movie in West Hollywood and maybe getting my feet done afterwards. #treatyouself

That’s all I have for now. Hopefully I can come back to you next time with something much juicer. Until then…

Stay Focused. Stay Positive. Vibrate Higher.