And I'm feeling Good
In the words of the great Nina Simone, I’m feeling good. The trees drifting on by, they know what I mean. Since I have gotten myself situated I have been in a good mood lately. I’ve gone shopping on more than one occasion, eating right, and keeping myself together. I can’t tell you how good this feels; sleeping in a bed and having access to the restroom like I should! My God! Right now, this is the time to push on the gas to pursue my dreams.
I had a talk with a friend. He gave me some pretty good pointers of what I should do with my writing. I need to take my craft to new heights; which means I need to talk more to my readers. He reminded me that “reading” blogs are becoming a thing of the past. People have become more accustomed to hearing the voice and/or seeing their authors tell their stories. Good for them, bad for me. I don’t really care for talking, but if I must, to expand my brand, then that’s what I am going to do.
I wanted to try it out today, but maybe not. I did a lot of running around today; the mall, the museum, the grocery store. I’m done with spending money. I have work on budgeting this month and the next to get into my new apartment. I feel very good about this one place. It’s in the same building in L.A. where I viewed another apartment. The price was cheaper so that was a plus. Everything around the apartment seemed to be the same. And! I believe it’s on the first floor! Oh, it’s going! First thing Monday morning, I’ll give the apartment manager a call to see if he can work something out with me. Hopefully, my credit won’t fuck up my chances to bad…again. At least the deposit and the down payment will be less because the rent is less. Nevertheless, pray for me ya’ll, because I’m praying for myself that I’ll get it.
Other than that, work is going well. I have no complaints in that field. On the other hand, I need to find a new job. My desire is to have at least a damn toe in the door of my career field. The jobs I’ve had had nothing to do with writing. I don’t give a shit if it’s the fucking mail room at a major magazine company or publishing house, I NEED a job in the business ASAP! It’s killing me.
One thing‘s for certain, people are reading my blog posts. I mean after all, my blogs are like therapy for me as writing has always been for years. My blogs are to share my spiritual and personal growth as a dreamer. But, more importantly, as one of God's divine spirits here on earth. There are new challenges every day challenging my character. I feel certain events are happening to bring me more out of my tight shell that I have laid dormant inside for so many years. In the past, I didn’t use to speak my mind. It was hard for me because I did not like confrontation. I found fear in the outcomes. Now, it’s getting harder to keep my mouth shut. I can feel my inner voice beginning to force itself out of my chest. It’s apart of becoming the woman I want to be. I am changing, and it feels so good. Learning how to be more conscious and demanding my time and energy is becoming a must. I am purging people and energy out of my life that doesn’t belong. It takes courage to do this believe me. the person I am doesn’t like to disappoint anyone. But doing what is best for my future requires sacrifices.
I miss my independence. I miss being able to walk into my own house at any time of the day. I miss eating what I want and putting my stuff where I want it to be. I have always had a bit of a rebel spirit. I do not like rules or regulations. My roommates make me feel confined as if I am in a straight jacket. I need to be free; to do what I please at any time. That is why I desire to own my own company one day! So I won’t have to listen to what anyone tells me to do. I am growing weary of my situation already. However, I know I must have patience. I mean, I did just get out of a pretty messed up experience. Sticking things out has become apart of my life’s story. I know my strength now, but I know I can be stronger. I’ll show you. Until next time…
Stay Positive. Stay Focused. Vibrate Higher.
P.S. Cleo Anthony liked my pic on Instagram!! He plays Greer on Spike Lee's Netflix series. "She's Gotta Have it" !! How cool is that.