The Coming of A New Age
Changing everything you have been taught is not an easy task. In order to renew yourself to your higher SELF, you must forget everything they taught you, so you can better know thyself. Your faith, ideas, and thoughts must be all your own. People weren't lying when they say that self-love is well needed through the journey of life. However, I do believe if you haven't fully discovered loving yourself yet, there is someone out there who can show you; at least that's what I read in books and seen in the journey of others. This is where my insecurities come out you guys; I have never experienced the love of another person unless it is from a family member or friend. I am twenty-four years and never had a serious love interest. Yes, there were those that liked me, but I couldn't bring myself to like them back. I'm just being honest. What an incredible feeling it must be to find someone who likes you back!! I thought I found a person like that a long time ago, but they happen to just be a fraud like everyone else. The energy we shared was so strong my skin would inflame whenever I saw him. He matched my level of attraction physically and mentally, but he couldn't get the emotional part right. As if he wanted too. Nevertheless, with much prayer and cleansing, I am over him. This took time friends. I guess when I fall in love, or better yet, fall in a "love trap", I fall hard with little hope of getting up.
I'll move on because this post is not really about my awful love life. It's about a different way of thinking and how I am adjusting. It's been over a month since I came to L.A. and as you all know it's been a bumpy roller coaster of many events one after another. But, if you think about it, nothing too terrible has happened to me. Through this journey, I've been working on keeping a positive mind about everything that happens in my life. As I stated before, it's been over a month and my GOD has yet to let me down. No, I am not religious as what others want me to be. I am still considered a spiritual force of energy trying to find her place in the world. Listening to the voice that is inside of me, the right voice has been challenging as I am sure it is to all those that are practicing to listen. My inner self-has been telling me not to worry, but to enjoy the space I am in now. These are the times of growing and it is just the beginning of your marvelous story.
When I first touchdown in California I was more than optimistic because I had everything already lined up. All I had to do was wait on it. Without much complaining, that's what I did I got what I had sought out. I was grateful for every moment that came to pass until the day that I got booted out of that apartment. It was that day that I didn't notice how much my faith was being tested. The whole operation was so sudden and unexpected and when I got that message that I had to leave, I knew this was a test.
I prayed my way through the situation, kept my mind strong, telling myself that everything was going to be alright, however, fear is a powerful disease. It was fear that kept me doubting everything that I knew what will come. It kept me depressed and stressed beyond belief. I thought that every decision I made in coming out here was a mistake. But then again… purpose proceeded to dwell inside my spirit. No matter how bad I wanted to leave I couldn't bring myself to do it. Now here I am. A blessing was only around the corner where I could not see it, only believe in it. When I tell people the story of how I came to stay with Ms. Annie, their eyes pop out of their head; and every time I am like, "YEP!" it's nothing but GOD…the universe working with me and not against me.
I am learning to speak things into existence; not to worry about the how or the when. I am speaking about matters as if they are already here with me. Like, I will have an apartment at the end of November. I will be financially stable and independent again. I AM worthy, I AM blessed, I AM the daughter of a queen. I AM queen. Affirmations have become my best friend in this new life, however, I feel I still have much to learn so it can become distilled in my mind. There are still ounces of self-loathing that creeps into my mind at times. One day at a time, you know. Wrapping my head around that everything doesn't happen overnight. I can be so impatient. even when I do happen to feel this way, my angels let me know that they are watching over me every step of the way. My magical numbers, 4-4-4. cross my path whenever I glance at the time or when I see that I am the 444th person to like a video. This brings me comfort. I am never alone.
I've been doing my reading and watching many videos about spiritual growth. I am learning myself. The best thing about it is, I am learning what my powers are. Strangers don't have to tell me what they see in me anymore because I already knew. I have always known. I just refused to believe it. Now that I do, I feel I am unstoppable. Thank you for walking alongside me on my journey. It means the world to me that the world knows my story. Until next time…
Stay Focused. Stay Positive. Vibrate Higher.